..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
