He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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