That's intense
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
