do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
