I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
