just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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