This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
