my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
