your thong is hanging out like whoa
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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