We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
