Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
