I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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