i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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