These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
