I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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