I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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