Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize