i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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