For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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