the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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