we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
