I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
