dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I look better un-naked...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
