This house was built for laser tag.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
