Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
