So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
