She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
