Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
