dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
