i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
