all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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