y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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