If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
