somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
