I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
