One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
