You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
