you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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