I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Operation Purity has been aborted
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
