I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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