you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
3 2 1 whiskey
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
