so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
