I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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