so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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