guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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