Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
