I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
