My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
