I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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