somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
