I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
we made out on top of his cat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No subtext here. People are naked.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
