I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
