I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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