She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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