sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
