dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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