I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
