imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
