Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
