i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
