hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
