I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
