I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
People in love make me want to vomit
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
