HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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