somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
