Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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