Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My bed smells like the plague
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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