I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
